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What Not To Say To A Recruiter

Zack Urlocker
Friday, January 09, 2004

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Take This Job And...

Zing!If there's two things you can count on in this world, it's death, taxes and recruiter phone calls.  Wait a sec'; that's three things. Ok, well, in the spirit of counting, here's our Top 10 list of things you should not say when a job recruiter calls you. 


10. Would I be a manager or would I have to do real work?

9. I think this phone is tapped. Can we meet at your house instead?

8. What's their policy on sexual harrasment?

7. When you say source code, what exactly to you mean by that?

6. My boss had an issue with on-the-job nudity. Is that a problem?

5. I'm not sure the FBI will let me work on computers anymore.

4. Oh sure, I know those guys. I already hacked into their web site.

3. This is great timing; they've just asked me to pack up my desk.

2. You know the Melissa Virus, that was my idea!

1. My manager has a restraining order against me anyways.

About the author
Zack Urlocker is a pseudonym for a Silicon Valley software executive who gets more calls from recruiters than from his family.

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Entire contents © Copyright 2002 - 2004 Z. Urlocker.  All rights reserved. No kidding.
All contents fictional and satirical.
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