I2 CEO Greg Brady Resigns

Nate Orenstam
Sunday, April 21, 2002

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Here's A Story Of A Man Named Brady...

(Dallas, Tex.) I2 (Nasdaq: ITWO) a leading vendor of supply-chain management software today announced the resignation of CEO Greg Brady after reporting a revenue decline of more than fifty percent year over year and two disastrous made-for-TV movies. Effective immediately, Brady will be relieved of day-to-day management responsibilities and will be grounded until further notice.

Greg Brady still looks trim at 5' 11 and weighing in at 160 pounds, with curly brown hair and intense green eyes. He had everything going for him, including rugged good looks, a charming personality, and a knack for stuffing the channel. "I've always loved the software business," Brady said. "Ever since I was 12 years old, I knew I wanted to be CEO. I didn't even know what CEO meant, but it sounded good. One of these days, I'm hoping to figure it out," said the foxy guy, laughing.

"It's been a lot of fun," Brady said. "I particularly enjoyed the offsite trip we did to Hawaii last quarter. We did more than just surf, if you know what I mean," he said with a knowing smile. "And we found this Tiki idol in a cave which was really cool. Only that's when we started having all kinds of bad luck. We even lost deals to Manugistics. It was only when the quarter was over that I put two and two together and realised we were struck by the curse of Tabu. I guess I should have returned the idol to the burial ground instead of selling it on eBay," he added.

Growing Up Brady

Brady was appointed to the position of CEO just over a year ago after winning a contest in Tiger Beat magazine. "This is so cool," he said at the time. "I can't believe I get to be my own boss." Things went well for a couple of quarters but unfortunately took a turn for the worse as the economy tightened and IT spending was curtailed. Still, Brady had persevered "I suggested we put on a play, but I could see the board wasn't going to go for it," he said. "Even Sam the Butcher voted against me. I coulda bopped him."

Brady is expected to return to his prior position as lead singer with The Brady 6, a 1970s television family pop group. And beyond that? Greg wants to develop as an all-round talent: singer, dancer, actor and CEO. "Why not? If Bill Gates can appear on Frazier, I figure I should be able to land a musical spot on VH-1."

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

Although Greg enjoys pretty girls, he isn't talking about marriage just yet. "My career is important to me," he said. "And Marcia and I are also working on a new startup company. We're calling it the Very Brady WebServices Cluster Management System. The venture guys think it's totally far out!"

Greg Brady is being replaced by alter ego and I2 founder Johnny Bravo, a 1970s vocalist with a powder blue matador jacket and gold tassles. Commented Bravo, "Adios, Greg baby."

About the author
Nate Orenstam is a top notch Java programmer who actually understands what terms like supply-chain management mean.