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<title>Valley of the Geeks</title> 
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/</link> 
<description>High Tech Humor Served Fresh Occasionally</description> 
<language>en-us</language> 
<copyright>Entire contents  Copyright 2002 M. Zack Urlocker.  All rights reserved. No kidding.</copyright>
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<description>High Tech Humor Served Fresh Occasionally</description> 
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<title>Santa Ousted</title>
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/News/Santa-2.html</link>
<description>
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In the latest scandal to rock corporate america, Santa Claus, CEO of Kris Kringle Retail (KKR), has resigned amidst allegations of accounting fraud.&nbsp; New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer has accused Santa Claus and auditors Arthur Andersen of bilking investors and tax payers of hundreds of millions of dollars through complex accounting scams. "Santa's been bad this year," Spitzer stated at a well-attended press conference. "Very, very bad."
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<title>MS Apologizes For Nukes</title>
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/News/MSNNukes.html</link>
<description>
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Microsoft today apologized to the United Nations for supporting North Korea's violation of the nuclear disarmament treaty. Earlier it was revealed that Microsoft had afixed promotional decals to announce the MSN 8 internet service on North Korean nuclear war heads.
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<title>MS Opens Source</title>
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/News/MSopensource.html</link>
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Microsoft today announced that they are open sourcing Windows.&nbsp; "People always thought we were against open source, and that's not true at all," said CTO Bill Gates.&nbsp; "The open source guys don't make any money, so what do we care, as long as we get it all."&nbsp;
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<title>The New High-Tech Dictionary 2.0</title>
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/Features/Dictionary.html</link>
<description>
<![CDATA[
We've all seen them. They're everywhere -in news releases, on shrink-wrapped products. You hear them at trade shows where they pile up like zeros in Bill Gates's bank account. They're the common technical and marketing terms used, misused, and abused in our industry. Now for the first time ever, a collection of software industry buzzword definitions.
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<title>eBay Auctions Employees</title>
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/News/eBay.html</link>
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Acknowledging signs that the slowing economy may be having a greater impact on business than previously reported, eCommerce auction giant eBay has announced plans to auction approximately 15% of employees worldwide.
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<title>Absolut Crash</title>
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/Features/Crash.html</link>
<description>
<![CDATA[
We've seen the rise and fall of the Internet economy as measured with Nasdaq now trading at pre-bubble levels.&nbsp; And every day seems to bring more and more bad news.&nbsp; So what's an investor to do?&nbsp; Well, this ad we'd like to see is probably the best investment advice yet...
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<title>How To Run a Marathon PR</title>
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/About/PR.html</link>
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If you've run a few marathons already and want to know how to achieve a PR (Personal Record) or qualify for Boston, here are some tips.
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<title>Gartner Magick Quadrante</title>
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/News/GartnerQuadrant.html</link>
<description>
<![CDATA[
IT Consultancy GartnerGroup has announced a new, updated version of their "Magic Quadrant". The Gartner quadrant, debuted in 1620 when the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock and has been the hallmark of high-tech marketing ever since.
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<title>Marketing Spin</title>
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/Features/Marketing.html</link>
<description>
<![CDATA[
Once you've got a technology company up and running it generally consists of two groups. Those who build the product and those who sell the product.&nbsp;Meanwhile, Marketing provides an update to the old saw: "Those who can do, and those who can't make Powerpoint slides."
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<title>MP3 Pirates Fined</title>
<link>http://www.valleyofthegeeks.com/News/Busted.html</link>
<description>
<![CDATA[
The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) has settled with three college students from the University of Houston accused of operating largescale networks of pirated music.&nbsp; RIAA spokesperson Alice Springs was optimistic about the settlement.&nbsp; "We have finally found a new source of revenue for the music industry."&nbsp;
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